Last Saturday I went to a workshop about femininity, organized by SUN Plaza (a local shopping center) in collaboration with Andrada Dan, a Romanian life coach. The idea was to discover who you are, to think about your life and if you are satisfied with it, but most importantly, to understand that it is in your power to make the change. Also, she had some interesting ideas about relationships, femininity and the truth about men, but you can read more about this on her website.
Photo source: Andrada Dan
Andrada worked for many years in a corporation and discovered life coaching not long ago, in a moment when her own life was falling apart. As she said it herself, there are times when in spite of your struggle to do everything right, to work harder, give more, do better, you are left with a full life but an empty soul, as you’ve forgot to ask for your own rights. We were raised to perform, to be the best, to work hard, have children, choose the right jobs, do everything for everyone, and a little less for ourselves, as this is for sure the right path to Heaven after we are dead (being ironic :)) We often don’t have the courage to ask for what we want, to say what we truly believe, as we are afraid of how people will react to our wishes. So, we live life in silence, secretly hoping that the ones around us will “read” our unspoken thoughts. Sometimes, when we can no longer keep quiet, we shout what we really feel, as it’s too late for us to talk. We rarely know how to listen and rarely know how to speak…No one taught us that.
I too had moments like this, a few years ago, and it is the reason why today I do what I do and not design wedding dresses as I did for 10 years. Even if I loved to design, at one point my work took over my life, to the point I had no time for me or for my husband. I felt I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t design and everything I once loved I began to hate. My inner voice was shouting “I can’t do this anymore”, my body started to have problems as I’ve pushed myself to the limits. I was exhausted. I thought really well at what I had to do, what I would lose, what I would gain, if it is the right moment to make a change, about how I see myself living my life, about what do I want and need. I made the change. Yes, the timing was quite perfect in my case, and I will always be thankful to my husband for always backing me up. We both knew it was what I needed to do. The funny thing is after that everything fell into place, like I was somehow at a crossroad and made the right decision. How do you know you made the right decision? You start breathing again, the world is not such a bad place anymore, you are excited about tomorrow, the weight has been lifted of your shoulders and you feel lighter. In 3 words, “You just know!” and you never regret your decision.
What I understood from Andrada’s speech and what I want to emphasize now is, that when you feel it in your soul you can’t do it anymore, make the change. Be smart about it, as this doesn’t mean you can drop every time there’s something you dislike. There will always be ups and downs, but when you can no longer ignore you inner voice, then it’s probably time to make the first step to a new life…
In another train of thoughts, keep an eye on the SUN PLAZA Facebook page, as there are more interesting workshops to come, one of them no later than next week (free admission).